


How To Say Goodbye

by fififolle



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Episode: s03e10-e11 The Return, Goodbyes, Hugs, M/M, Making Up, Past Relationship(s), Rejection, Trope Bingo Round 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fififolle/pseuds/fififolle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is leaving Atlantis. Major Lorne says goodbye to David Parrish. Back on Earth, he finds David can't do the same. (Based on The Return.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the stargatecountry Saying Goodbye challenge, and fits the Trope Bingo prompt: against all odds. Thank you to all the mods and players at stargatecountry on LJ for the fun and good times :)

~

The greenhouses were a hive of activity, the air charged with frustrated haste. Evan knew he could barely spare the time to do this, but not doing it wasn't an option. Finally, he spotted David transferring some kind of yellow plant into a metal case, and he hurried over to him.

“David.”

Parrish looked up quickly, utter surprise on his face that turned rapidly to muted resignation as he stood and faced him. “Major Lorne? What are you doing here? I thought...”

“Yeah, yeah.” Evan waved him off. “City to pack up, I know. But I just... I needed...” He dried up, all the words that he'd had in mind failing him. He watched David stiffen up, looking even taller than he usually did.

“Something I can help you with, Major?” David said, the bitterness unmistakeable. 

Evan winced. “Dammit, David. This is difficult enough. I'm sorry, okay? I know you hoped there could be something more between us, and I never meant to hurt you.” He glanced around, suddenly aware that he was talking too loud. This wasn't how this conversation was supposed to go. “We're leaving Atlantis, and I might never see you again. I couldn't... Look, part of me wishes I'd taken that chance, David. Hell, I regret saying no every waking moment.” The memory of the kiss came flooding back to him, as it always did, like a bright fire inside him that he had to force away. “But I can't change the past, and I had to say goodbye to you. Had to say... I'm sorry.”

David's expression had gradually softened, pain smoothing the hard line of his mouth, until by the time Evan shut up, David was only looking weary.

“Thank you, Evan,” he said quietly, his fists bunched at his sides. “I know you didn't want to complicate our working relationship, and I'll always respect that. Thank you for coming.”

It wasn't exactly how Evan had imagined this. What had he expected? It's not like David was going to choose this moment to give him a second chance, to suddenly lay his feelings bare again, if he even still _felt_ that way, and fuck, when did he want that so badly? His timing, as always, sucked.

“Goodbye, Doctor Parrish. Take care of yourself.” Evan's mind was screaming so loudly at him it hurt. _Let me take care of you._

David had composed himself again. “And you, Major. I won't -” His voice cracked almost imperceptibly before he continued. “I won't forget you.”

A handshake wasn't possible, a hug even more dangerous. Evan could only turn and walk away, and until the city was empty of any trace of the Expedition he raged his fury on everything and everyone around him.

~ ~ ~

Cheyenne Mountain was eerily quiet as everyone worked to store the remnants of the returning Expedition, the initial debrief over. Evan felt bone tired, but to stop and think about the future was too painful, so he kept working, kept his men motivated to finish the job.

Occasionally he watched a couple of scientists saying goodbye to Marines they'd got to know, shaking hands and waving before they headed for the next transport out.

When everything was stashed away and most of the personnel had left the base, he wondered where David was, and a pang of regret washed through him again.

Heading back into the Gateroom for a final look around before he called it a night, he had his answer. 

David Parrish was sitting on the ramp, his arms resting on his bent knees. He looked up as Evan entered, and a nervous smile played around his lips. Evan froze, confused.

David stood up, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Evan couldn't help it, he looked the man up and down, dumbstruck by how incredible he looked like this, casual and... soft.

“Hi,” David said, stopping just out of Evan's reach.

“What are you -? I thought you'd -”

“I'm not going,” David said simply.

Evan blinked. Something like hope bubbled inside him. “Everyone's going home. You -”

“I said, I'm not going. You're staying here, yes?”

Evan swallowed, his palms suddenly sweaty, his heart thumping hard enough to smash a rib. “They need me to cover some shifts for a while, yeah, but -”

“Then I'm staying. At least,” he shrugged, “I don't want to say goodbye, Evan. I can't. Not to you. Don't make me.”

Suddenly Evan saw the tell-tale vein in David's neck. The one that told him his botanist was afraid. It sparked something in his gut, and he took a step forward, reached out, and touched David's chest.

“You still want me,” he whispered, not so much a question as a realisation.

David covered his hand and clasped it to his chest. “More than you know,” he replied.

Evan spared a thought for the duty technician in the gallery behind him, but figured as Chuck had them nailed before Evan had even known himself, he had nothing to worry about. He leaned in and pulled David to him, tugging him into a tight hug that felt more than right. It was life itself.

“I don't want you to go,” he found himself saying. “I love you, David. Please stay with me.” He'd never meant anything more in his life.

David was cradling his head as Evan crushed himself to David's shoulder, David's long fingers carding through his hair. “I'm not leaving, Evan. Never leaving you.”

They may have lost Atlantis, but Evan had found something there that he knew would last forever.

~


End file.
